Have you faced adversity in your life that could have sent you spiraling down a negative path? A career setback, an illness or injury, or even just a run of bad luck has the potential to leave you discouraged, defeated, or harboring a pessimistic view on life. But that outcome is not predetermined. In fact, it can make you a stronger, more resilient person. Your marriage is no different. You and your spouse will go through things that can either strain – or strengthen – your marriage. Here are 3 examples:
Parenting
Whether it’s the momentous milestone of becoming parents, or the various stages that follow, parenting is often considered one of the most rewarding – and most challenging – ventures that you and your spouse will take on. You’ll experience ups and downs (even at the same time), and it can all feel pretty overwhelming. You probably hear about the negatives a lot: how you have so much less time and energy to focus on each other, how easy it is to become disconnected, how if you’re not careful you can end up like roommates instead of spouses.
While these things are a reality for many couples at some point, parenting can transform your marriage in a lot of positive ways, too. The shared purpose in raising your children strengthens your sense of unity and solidifies your team mindset. You’ll need to get aligned on big issues that you may have disagreed on or avoided previously. In doing so, you may gain a better understanding of each other’s perspective. As you face the various physical, mental, and emotional challenges of parenting, you’ll see new sides of each other and have the opportunity to support each other in ways you haven’t before, bringing you closer and building resilience through it all.
Money
Money can be a touchy subject for couples, and that’s because differences run much deeper than just being a spender or a saver. Your attitude towards money and the role it plays in your life was shaped early on, strongly influenced by the values and attitudes of your parents. Whether it meant security, status, enjoyment, or control, these attitudes are deeply ingrained, and when they differ from your spouse’s, it can seem like you’re a million miles apart.
However, the emotional aspect of money means there is a great opportunity for connection. Peeling back the layers and sharing those feelings with each other is a great way to increase intimacy. Talking about experiences you had growing up that left a lasting impression on your relationship with money can give each other insight into your present-day attitudes and behaviors. You might not only learn something new about each other, but you’ll be better equipped to support, comfort, and accommodate each other when you’re facing a triggering money situation.
Transitions
There are many changes and transitions you’ll experience throughout your marriage. Whether it’s a shift in your lifestyle or stage of life, beginning a new career or living arrangement, or facing a new reality in any aspect of your day-to-day, the waves of change have the potential to carry you away from each other. But that doesn’t have to be the outcome.
While you can’t always prepare for transitions ahead of time, prioritizing communication will help you and your spouse stay connected throughout it all. If you have the luxury of knowing one is coming, take the opportunity to get on the same page by talking through emotions, expectations, and anticipated needs. Checking in with each other consistently offers the chance to acknowledge feelings, make adjustments, and recalibrate yourselves as a team. And when you find yourselves at a point where things feel a more “normal,” you can take pride in coming out the other side even stronger than you were before.
You and your spouse will face challenges together – it’s inevitable. Whether it’s a new phase of live, a topic you never agree on, or a big life change, your relationship can potentially suffer. But with the right mindset and a bit of intention, you can ensure you come out stronger instead.
