4 Areas to Take Initiative in Your Marriage

When you see a problem, do you take the initiative to fix it?

It’s typically pretty easy to point out issues: an ineffective process at work, a constantly messy room in your house, or a higher than usual electric bill. It’s more difficult to actually take action to solve (or improve) the situation at hand. This also applies to your marriage.

Are there aspects of your relationship you know could be better? Instead of waiting for your spouse to take the lead or hoping things magically improve on their own, it’s time to be proactive. Here are areas to take initiative in your marriage this year.

Household management

If you’re struggling with the division of labor or notice your spouse feeling overwhelmed by what’s on their plate, it’s okay! Your current breakdown of roles and responsibilities is not set in stone. In fact, most couples benefit from reassessing and making adjustments to how they manage their household throughout their marriage. After all, your family’s needs will vary as you go through different seasons of life. Take initiative this year by sitting down with your spouse to discuss what is and isn’t working. Brainstorm some practical ways you can work towards a more satisfying balance. Think small, actionable steps that alleviate the pain points you’re experiencing. For example, if you’re overwhelmed with meal planning, maybe you try out a weekly repeating menu for a month. Don’t be afraid to get creative or try out something new for a couple of weeks.

Dates and quality time

Do you wish you and your spouse went on more dates, or that it was more of a priority in your marriage? Do you want to try new places or activities? You’ll always find an excuse for why it’s not feasible, but the truth is, you can make it work if you want to! The first step: communicate to your spouse what changes you’d like to see – they might be thinking the same thing! And if this issue wasn’t on their radar, that’s okay! Letting them know your feelings gives them an opportunity to support your initiative and get on board. Then, jump in – put the effort into planning a date and the logistics that go with it, such as finding a sitter. Then, ask your spouse on that date! Not only will they likely appreciate your initiative, it sets a precedent and makes it easier for both of you to build on this momentum.

Self-improvement



It’s not always easy to recognize your own weaknesses, and when you do, it can be even harder to do anything about them. We often let avoidance, projection, or shame take over. This year can be different. Instead of tamping down the things you know you can work on, steel yourself and face them head on. Get feedback from your spouse or take a personal assessment to get more insight into where you can grow. Then think through small changes you can make or habits you can establish as stepping stones toward where you want to be. Whether it’s being a more supportive spouse, a more patient parent, or a better communicator, you have the power within you to be the person you strive to be.

Relationship growth



You might feel your marriage is as strong as ever, or you might be aware of complacency creeping in. Wherever you fall, the reality is that keeping a strong and vitalized marriage requires ongoing effort and intention from both of you. You might wonder, “How do we grow in our marriage? Where do we start?” It can be as simple as having a conversation you’ve been avoiding, or discussing your relationship with more intention. Consider a resource like the Discussion Guide for Couples, which can act as a roadmap for what to talk about. Or (re)take an assessment like Prepare/Enrich or Couple Checkup, which can show you exactly which areas you’re thriving and which have room for improvement. Being proactive about growing together is a crucial part of an enduring marriage.

The best marriages aren’t perfect – they’re intentional. Whether it’s starting an honest conversation about your needs, planning intentional date nights, tackling household responsibilities together, or simply showing more appreciation every day, take the initiative today and watch your marriage grow stronger.