Nurturing Friendships Through All Seasons of Life

There was a time in your life – maybe not even that long ago, or maybe you’re still in it – when spending time with friends came naturally and with minimal effort. With just a simple call or text, you could meet up with hardly a moment’s notice. You saw your friends often, with little planning required.

At some point, things change. People move away, get married, focus on careers, have children. You have more responsibilities, demands on your time, and are simply busy with your own lives. It gets more and more difficult to stay connected. That being said, those friendships outside of your marriage are still important, even when they take more effort. Let’s explore some tips and reminders on nurturing those relationships no matter what season of life you’re in.

Consider it a type of self-care.

Just like exercise or a good book can help you rejuvenate your body and mind, good friendships refuel your soul. They’re a source of relaxation and fun. They help you relieve stress and maintain a sense of balance among the many roles you play in life. And just like self-care, nurturing friendships is something you need to prioritize and be intentional about. It doesn’t mean you need to put it above your spouse or family, but it does mean you need to put in the effort to actually make it happen.

Support each other in maintaining friendships.

If you have kids, you know it can take coordination and mutual support to help you both maintain individual friendships. And even if you’re not parents, encouraging each other to sustain those relationships can go a long way in making it happen, especially if one or both of you tend to be introverts or homebodies. It promotes a healthy balance between togetherness and separateness in your relationship.

Focus on quality over quantity.

If you spend time with friends once a week, that’s great! If that seems a little unrealistic based on your current season of life, that’s okay, too. You might have certain friends you only see once a month, once every few months, or even once a year. Chances are you make the most of the limited time you do get together. So don’t feel like you’re failing at the friendship thing if your current season doesn’t allow you to get together as often as you’d like. A 4-hour dinner every few months in which you’re fully present can be just as – if not more – significant as meeting up more often when you’re feeling scattered and in a rush.

Schedule it – and follow through.

How many times have you used the classic line, “We should get together sometime!” only to have that never actually happen. Next time, make an effort to actually pick a date (or multiple) and put it on the calendar. It might take a little back and forth to find days that work for everyone, but be persistent! Having a set date means one of the biggest obstacles to spending time together is already taken care of. Now you just have to follow through on it. Sure, things come up – kids get sick, cars break down, etc., but do your best to reschedule ASAP. That’s when scheduling multiple dates can come in handy!

Make new friends & keep the old.

You’ve probably got friends from all chapters of life – those you’ve known since childhood, your college crew, former coworkers turned friends from a previous job. You might feel like that’s enough – after all, you barely have time to keep up with all of them. It’s a relatable sentiment, but don’t close yourself off from the possibility of making new friends in your current season of life, too. Whether it’s neighbors, other parents, or people you meet through church or volunteering, these relationships enrich our daily lives.

Don’t forget about couple friends.

We’ve stressed the importance of you and your spouse having separate friendships, but having mutual or couple friends can be just as beneficial! After all, it’s important for you to be able to relax and have fun together in the company of friends, not always separately. Couple friends are a great source of camaraderie and support, and they can even help strengthen your own relationship. Read more about that here.

Is fostering a friendship and focusing on your relationship with your spouse important? Yes, without question. But nurturing outside friendships is just as crucial to a well-rounded sense of wellbeing. The problem is, the ease with which you maintain those relationships tends to ebb and flow as you navigate different seasons of life. Hopefully these tips help you adapt to the one you’re in and keep those friendships going strong.