Did you know that routines in a relationship can be valuable?
As a society, we have developed a strikingly negative perspective of falling into a routine in our relationships. We view spontaneity as the ideal norm. With that being said, spontaneity is fun and important in a relationship, but routines are just as necessary.
Positive routines establish something for couples to look forward to. For example, saying “I love you” to your partner before you leave in the morning creates an early routine of reminding your partner that they are on your mind.
Routines create rituals that make up the symbolism of who you two are as a couple – or even as a family. Let’s say you decide that every night you would like to give your partner a back rub before bed, this is the routine. The ritual then becomes the indication of you two relaxing before you go to sleep together every night.
Start small when coming up with routines. They shouldn’t be a chore to do, but rather something you two would enjoy doing together on a regular basis. Your routine does not have to be daily; it could be weekly or even monthly.
Need help coming up with ideas? Try thinking of something that you want to do or need to get done, like going for a morning jog. Ask your partner to join. This takes a simple, daily task, and turns it into something for the two of you to do together. Your morning jog will become a routine for the two of you, which will become a ritual of exercising with each other.
Remember, routines are healthy. They give you the foundation to create what defines your relationship. It’s never too late to form a new routine.
Excellent blog post, a good reminder.
My wife and I Ta ke time each night to debrief the day and giving each othe our full attention. I make a cup of tea, we turn off or pause the TV and we take 15 minutes to talk about our day. It’s amazing how this simple quick act can build connection/reconnection and intimacy. It really works if only we can ensure it is a routine that is maintained… it’s certainly a healthy routine!
That sounds like a great routine! What a healthy way to wrap up your day with your partner. Thanks for the comment!