The weekend lies ahead of you – a blank slate of possibilities. Are you and your spouse on the same page about how to spend it? Think of the phrase, “That’s what the weekend is for.” To you, what is that, exactly? Is it for doing all the fun activities and outings you don’t have time for during the week? Is it for tackling your to-do list of chores and projects? Or is it all about relaxing and recharging at the end of a busy week and before starting the next?
The truth is, the way you want to spend the weekend might differ from what your spouse has in mind. You might have very different weekend mindsets overall, or even just from one weekend to the next. On their own, these preferences can cause conflict. Throw in a few unspoken expectations and less-than-stellar communication, and it’s a recipe for a disappointing weekend. If you and your spouse have experienced this before, then these tips are for you.
Have a pre-weekend check in.
Prior to the weekend (maybe the same time every week to help you be consistent), have a chat with your spouse about what you’ve got in mind for the weekend. You might bring up or confirm plans, share a “wish list” of things you’d like to do, or prioritize the things you’d like to complete. This gives you a chance to get on the same page, helping you avoid any miscommunications – and any conflicts that might ensue because of it.
Be specific about your preferences.
When you say you want to relax, what exactly does that look like to you? Is it putting your feet up, maybe in the backyard with a book, just you and the dog? Or is it a leisurely trip to the farmer’s market, meeting up with friends for lunch, and inviting family over to grill and hang out around a bonfire? As you can see, relaxing can mean two very different things to each of you. If you’re both under the assumption that you’re just going to “relax” this weekend, but leave it at that, well, you might be in for a surprise – or a fight. Avoid this by being very specific and clear about what your preferences actually mean. Give examples and ideas if you need to, or if you know exactly what you want to do, don’t be afraid to propose it!
Don’t make each other guess.
Occasionally you’ll have certain expectations for a weekend. Maybe it’s a birthday or anniversary, a special holiday, or another meaningful event or celebration. You might have a very specific idea in your head about how you want it to go. Don’t make your spouse guess, try to read your mind, or expect that they should “just know” what you want. You’re bound to be disappointed. Instead, give your spouse the best opportunity to meet your expectations by being upfront about them.
Find a balance.
If you’ve got very different weekend mindsets, then you should get comfortable with compromise – and that doesn’t have to mean that neither of you are really getting what you want. Instead, get creative with how you incorporate both of your needs and preferences into each weekend. Maybe Saturday is typically your day for doing all the things, while Sundays are for laying low and recharging. Perhaps you split the days into halves, and try to dedicate half of each day to one thing or the other. Or if one weekend is jam-packed, maybe you make sure the next one includes plenty of downtime.
The weekend is probably a time you and your spouse look forward to – but it might be for very different reasons. If you’re unaware of those differences, it can end up getting the best of you, in the form of unnecessary arguments or unexpected disappointment. Make the most of your weekend – whether it’s low-key or high energy – by putting these tips to work.
